Children, they’ll be alright
That fierce instinct to protect our children, which most parents will understand, sang-out to me in those first few days of being (mis)diagnosed with ALS. The idea that I’d be around to support my children as they travel the highs and lows of life was now clearly an assumption I’d been making. The next trial they were about to face was losing their father.
Dealing with the prospect of not being there for my children and my death being a source of pain to them, was the biggest exercise in ‘letting go’ I’ve ever experienced. What helped was to step back and consider the situation as a natural cycle that is simply life…
Everyone is challenged in life, people deal with it and people can grow stronger from it.
There is nothing to say that my absence would make my children any more vulnerable and any less able to deal with life’s challenges. Perhaps even, the pain they would feel in my passing would give them a strength they would otherwise not have. Who knows for sure. However, human beings are resilient, we feel pain and we have the capacity heal. Furthermore we learn from pain and under the right circumstances it can make clear what’s important, change how we live and shape who we are for the better.
In thinking about my children, I asked myself:
- Will they hurt? YES.
- Do I believe in them? YES.
- Will they come out of this stronger? YES.
- What can I do before I die to help them? LOVE THEM.
About these strategies
Welcome. These strategies are for people who’ve been diagnosed with a terminal or life threatening illness. If that’s you, I’m sharing them because I know something about what you’re going through, they helped me and so maybe they can help you too.